Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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