I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
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