At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I'm just crazy horny about you
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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