Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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