Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
