I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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