No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
