God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
