I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
