you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
