But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
