There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
