got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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