3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
