Fuck appropriateness.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize