i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
