I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
