Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize