You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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