you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize