I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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