I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
