Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
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