I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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