did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
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