11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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