sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Found the puke drawer
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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