oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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