this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
