Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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