i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
