Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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