Ambien. No doubt about it.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
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