So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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