i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
