my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
