i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
