you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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