apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
