everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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