Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
