small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
