i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
