I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
