singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Two words: nipple clamps
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