i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Randomize
