Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
