I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
