Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
