I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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