We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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