Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
