Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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