And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
