champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
