Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
