My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
