Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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