No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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