He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Is Oprah even human
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
