Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
