therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
