We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
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