Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
