We're facebook friends in real life
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize